i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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