im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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