she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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