would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
