I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize