Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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