Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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