I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
i out mim tonsoeep
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
