Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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