If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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