Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
