you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
