And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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