I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
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