tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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