possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize