Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize