Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
