Already got asked if we're dating
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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