Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
