You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
