me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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