a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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