Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.

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(817): View more from Texas

He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night

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(765): View more from Indiana

Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.

Fav 32 3569 6132
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(408): View more from California

Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.

Fav 10 3915 1452
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(857): View more from Massachusetts

Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"

Fav 10 2875 802
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(602): View more from Arizona

I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.

Fav 3 680 505
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(772): View more from Florida

i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered

Fav 1 39 11
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone

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