i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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