So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
