LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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