I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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