Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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