so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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