she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
