i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
