I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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