We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
