I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Alive.
So much puke
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize