I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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