man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
