You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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