i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
