Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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