If i come over, it means nothing
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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