So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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