she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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