..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
