At least make sure they are 18
Why
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
so let's talk penis.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
