dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
