don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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