so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
