FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
