I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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