I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize