he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
