are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
organizing the empties. That sober.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I want a musical about memes.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
