hell yes lets make some ravioli
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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