What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
