I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
