He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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