omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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