she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
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