the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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