too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
