Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
